I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
