I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
