Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
