I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
