HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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