hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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