told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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