Sorry, I don't speak sober.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
