love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
