Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
