Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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