Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
