did you get engaged???
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The beer is more important than you right now.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
