girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
