Pregnant stripper...not hot.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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