apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
