I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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