Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
