It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
