; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize