Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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