Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i dont even know how to be here
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
