It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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