her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
