The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
