You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I could fuck to npr.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
