it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
we have pet lesbian snakes
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
this will be a night to untag.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
