So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
