there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
