areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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