I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Randomize
