i permit you to call me
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
We are all done wearing pants today
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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