She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I touched a dick in church today
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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