I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you win again, gameday.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize