Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
