Your mouth is God's brothel.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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