the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
