After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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