She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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