i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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