Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize