That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
