she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
only you would photoshop your dick
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
