like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
