Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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