Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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