Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
