mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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