I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
