Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
