You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
