I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
