I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
