k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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