Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
