Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize