Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Randomize
