Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
sex in a hospital.. check
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
