Sry I called you an 8
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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