quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Who wears a wallet chain?!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
