Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
