On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
