y did u give ur computer a hand job?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
