i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm both gender and math confused
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
