CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
honey bunches of taint.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
