Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
