Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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