im drinking this country out of the recession.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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